Is anyone else put off by the words friends and family? I know I am. Whenever a sentence starts off with those two words, you'll find me napping in the corner. However, it seems that there is a repeated theme in YA books when it comes to those two things.
Family
It might be pretty obvious where I'm going here. You see, a little trip to my bookshelf confirmed my initial suspicions. There is no family in YA. Atleast, no parents. Out of all the books I've read, only a handful have both their parents alive. And you know what? I understand. Especially in genres like fantasy, where our teen protagonist is off kicking demon ass until sunrise, parents might be a.. complication. They might slow down the plot, and form a problem for the protagonist. You see, in YA, parents are predisposed to be the voice of reason. The opposers of anything dangerous (aka fun). The literary party poopers. So how do you solve that problem? Make them vanish like the wind..
You know, I have nothing against one or both parents not being in the picture. I have nothing against a broken family portrayal or an abusive parent. It just feels like every other YA book I read has a negative/no representation of parents. It feels like the authors do it as a way to get closer to the teenage mind. Every teenage feels like they're misunderstood. Especially by parents. We all have rebelled against our parents and picked up meaningless fights with them. It's only natural that an author would reflect that in a YA book, right?
No.
How about a healthy family relationship for a change? I agree, it's not realistic nor that common to find a completely positive family relationship in real life. But I think it would do us, younger generations, good to read about them. Who knows, maybe will figure out that locking yourself in your bedroom is not the key to everything. I don't want to sound condescending here because I am one of those teens. Out of my two brothers and I, I gave my parents the hardest time going through that "phase". Except that it's not just a phase. If I don't agree with something that my parents do now, there's a very good chance that I still won't agree later on. This "phase" is what will shape who I am when I grow up. I'm one of those optimists who believe that showing positive relationships might actually reflect in real life. I'd like to read about a cool mother or a friendly father for a change. I'm not saying to paint the sky pink for me, just give me a breath of fresh air.
Friends
I've already talked about this in my Less Romance, More Bromance post, but I didn't get into detail. So here we go: Girl friendships SUCK in YA. Like majorly suck. It's full of bitchiness and cat fights and gossip, and guess what, that was cool back in the days of Mean Girls. I don't know about you guys, but I'm sick of this. It is not okay to portray most girls carrying that much hate and insecurity. This really reflects on young girls. Much like portraying stalkerish attitude as sexy, this makes us believe that this is the norm. That girls aren't meant to be friends, just hate-filled bombs that explode mid-way through the book. And what's with the insecure protagonists? True, most girls feel that way, but maybe books can show us that it's okay to like yourself, and your body. Personally, I think reading about a girl that actually likes herself will affect me. I don't want to have an insecure character to look up to, I want that strong, confident one to be my role mode. I would want to be like her, which is basically the whole point. Books are capable of making a change, so for the love of cinnamon rolls, please, show us some healthy, positive friendships so that maybe we'd realize what we're missing out on in real life.
What's your take on the portrayal of friends and family in YA? Find other great discussion posts here
I agree! While I understand that the teen protagonists need agency, so the parents need to be much more in the background, it would be nice to see them at least more present and *a part of their lives* in YA books! And yes, why do the friends usually suck? The best friend in Golden was actually a great gal, and that made me happy. :)
I totally agree the absence of parents in YA is ridiculous. Especially in fantasy YA, the quickest thing to do is kill both parents and make the MC an orphan. And this gets tiring very, very quickly.
I love when I find books with great friendships. Actually less more romance and more friendship would totally work for me.
I agree. While all teens bump heads with parents, there are still plenty who love each other and have great relationships, so why aren't they shown? And yeah, it may be a complication having a family involved when trying to save the world or have some epic adventure, but I think I would want my family accessible if I'm doing such a thing. I look to my parents when doing anything drastic, I would think teens with no experience and some brain cells would do the same!
And yes, friends are a hit or miss. They may be there, but not really care as a friend should. Or they could just be petty. I've really loved reading Daughter of Smoke and Bone to see the friendship between Karou and Zuzanah. They have such a fun friendship and Zuzanah actually cares about Karou and freaks out on her when she goes missing, instead of just not caring.
Great post!
Exactly, even if the parent are present, they have no importance whatsoever. You'd think the people you share a house with would have a little role in your day to day life, but apparently, the authors tend to "clear space" for the love interest or whatever.
I have not read Golden, and I don't know what it's about, but I LOVE the cover. I saw a picture of it on twitter, one of the bloggers posted (was it you?!)
It would definitely work for me too. There's much more to explore in friendships than in romance. I think romantic relationships are kind of limited in comparison with friendships.
Hmm, wasn't me! But I will be posting my review of it soon! And it's even prettier in person. :)
One of the rare books I've read that had a relationship between a father and daughter was Speechless by Hannah Harrington. It was such a refreshing read! I don't know why authors don't take the advantage of having most of their protagonists living at their parents house. They could write awesome relationships between kids and their parents.
Like you said, it's completely unrealistic to shut out parents like that. I'd go for my parent's advice if I decide to do anything drastic (like.. I don't know, save the world)
Aaah, Zuzana is a living cluster of awesomeness. I didn't pay much attention to her in DoSaB, but I LOVED her role in Days of Blood and Starlight. She's brilliant and a really good friend. If only more authors would write about friendships like that!
Thanks for stopping by Asti
If only fooling parents would be so easy. I mean you share a HOUSE with those people, I'd think they should have some role in the overall story. Maybe authors are afraid parent/kid relationships would be too boring, but that's just lack of creativity. I've read some awesome teenage/guardian relationships, and trust me, they do make a difference in me as a reader.
As you said, true friends are rare, and the whole insecure girl turned Ms. Universe is seriously infuriating. Excuse my cynicism, but I don't want to read a wish fulfillment disguised as characterization. As much as I'd like this to be realistic, it's not.
And the whole high-school drama thing is getting really old. I don't know about other people, but I don't want to read about it anymore. As a tween, I've had my fair share of High School Musical-y books/movies, and the plots are the definition of cliche. I think authors are starting to write some real characterization nowadays in contemporaries, so that's a good start.
Cool! I've got to read that review, I'm deciding whether I should add it to my TBR pile or not
A fourth person agrees now. The lack of decent parenting in books has always been a thorn in my side. I don't demand 24/7 surveillance, but come on! If every parent was so clueless and careless when it came to their children in real life, kids would rule the world. I don't mind if one or both parents are dead, but children should have a stable role model in their lives. In YA, teens just run amok, rising hell (sometimes literally) and no one suspects a fraud when they come up with some stupid excuse. I recently read a book where a mother who is described as protective of her daughter lets her go on a road trip across the world with a guy who clearly wants to nail her.
As for the true friends... it's extremely rare, unless it's a friendship between a boy and a girl. Normally, I love those, but having a healthy friendship between girls with no jealousy or back-stabbing is like a dream come true. Again, unrealistic. And the heroine is always insecure so we can go through a whole book where people constantly tell her she's beautiful and every girl wants to be her, hence the jealousy and back-stabbing.