Alternate & Terrible Ending To: Harry Potter

This is a new feature on I Read and Tell where I basically crush your dreams and ruin books for you. You don't have to thank me.

P.S: This post contains major spoilers for The Harry Potter series.

You might think you know how Harry Potter ends. Well, you sir, couldn't be more wrong. This is the alternate ending that yours truly J.K Rowling initially had in mind. I picked it right up from her personal desk. Yup, we're that close. 

So Harry is battling Voldemort outside in the Hogwarts courtyard. Shiny ass CGI laser is everywhere, and Harry is having a hard time holding the fight. Is he going to give up? Is he?

That's when something catches his eyes.

It's only a flicker of black ink on his opponent's body, but he'll be damned if it didn't look good.

"Voldy," he says, over the noise of the ongoing battle. The super villain is too immersed in the fight. He can't hear him.

"Voldy!"

This time, it caught his attention. Reluctantly, Voldy took a chance to look over at the  boy with the scar. The boy who lived. Or whatever.

"What? Can't you see we're in the middle of something, you dumbass?" Voldy said, the m's coming out as b's because you know.. the nose thingy.

"Look, I may or may not kill you, but before this ends, I have to ask you a question," Harry said. Tension filled the air. This was a life or death situation. "Where did you get that tattoo, cause my god! It's fabulous!"

Voldemort froze. Tears started to well up in his eyes. For two years now, he's been wearing this tattoo, and none of the Death Eaters had paid attention. No one. He even came close to wearing a low top so it would catch their attention, but no.. every one's eyes went straight to his nose. His goddamned nose.

Until now.

He was flattered, that much was clear. "You noticed it," he said, his voice barely audible.

"Ofcourse I did, Voldy," Harry said. Slowly, each lowered their wands. "It looks.. oh my god."

In the span of a second, Harry closed the distance between them, getting a better look at the tattoo. It was simple,really. A number and a letter.

But it would change their lives for ever.

"Is that what I think it is?" Harry said, awe taking over him.

Voldy was in tears. "Are you.."

"Yes, I am," Harry said, looking at the 1D tattoo on his former enemy's neck. "I'm a directioner."

"Oh em gee," Voldy said.

"Double oh em gee," Harry said. They embraced quickly, trying to keep their fangirl feels at bay.

As they hugged, their wands laid discarded on the ground beneath them. Then, Voldemort whispered in Harry's ear, "If you come near Harry Styles, I will split you in half."

__________________________________________


EPILOGUE:


All over the world, people are wondering who is the brilliant writer behind those 1D fanficitons. But what muggles don't know is, it's not just one writer, but two. After the gruesome Battle of Hogwarts, Voldemort and Harry will start writing fan fiction together, with evil Voldy eventually coming to the idea of monetizing fan fiction *cough* Amazon *cough*. They even get to meet the boys, and do a collaboration with them. It was called: What Makes You Beautiful? Poly Juice Potion.

All was well. 

Did you like this? Suggest what book I should ruin next. Till next week, lovelies ;)